i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
