in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
