I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize