So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
