You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
