laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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