I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
