you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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