Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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