I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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