smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
