Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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