Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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