I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
