dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I smell like Dick and happiness
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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