Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize