At least make sure they are 18
Why
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
