yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
