Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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