You just made me feel so damn special
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
