so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we're making bets on your personal life
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
