The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
