i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
