Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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