we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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