sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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