Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize