Church boner. Awkwardddd
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
