Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
