Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
