He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
