I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
my liver is dry heaving
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
