it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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