Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
