There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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