Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
