I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
