try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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