We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
