I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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