Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
