I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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