I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
