You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize