Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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