I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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