dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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