I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
