Nicole vs. Life
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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