It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
