i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
now i know why i became what i already was.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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