Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize