Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
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i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
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Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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