bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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