Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
