just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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