I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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