Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
