As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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