first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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