There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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