you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
